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Dating According to Quran and Sunnah
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The Noble Qur'an - Al-Ma'idah 5:5
...(Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women
from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture
(Jews and Christians) before your time, when you have given their due Mahr
(bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage),
desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal
sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. ...
"Shacking
up" brings a curse taken to the grave
Hadith - Sahih Muslim, Narrated AbudDarda'
AbudDarda' related from the Prophet of
Allah
that he came upon a
(slave) woman who was in the advanced stage of pregnancy at the door of a tent.
He
said: Perhaps
he (the man accompanying her) intends to cohabit with her. They said:
Yes. Thereupon Allah's Messenger
said: I had
decided to curse him with such a curse as may go along with him to his grave.
How can he own him (the child to be born) and that is not lawful for him, and
how can be take him as a servant for that is not lawful for him?
Sex outside of marriage is prohibited
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Volume 3, Book 48, Number 817, Narrated Zaid bin Khalid
Allah's Apostle
ordered that an unmarried man who committed illegal sexual intercourse be
scourged one hundred lashes and sent into exile for one year.
A Muslim cannot date and should always have the intentions not be alone with a non-mahram; if it is your intentions not to be alone with a non-mahram, but circumstances beyond your control mandate that you are (such as entering a store, placing an order, calling a plumber to fix an emergency leak), that is different. It must be your intentions not to be alone with a non-mahrahm person, though.
Islam protects us from ourselves by segregating men from women who are not directly related (these people are known as mahrham) as specific in the Qur'an. Instead of dating, a Muslim and Muslimah meet in a pre-arranged place (such as a room in the Masjid) with a wali/witness/guardian/escort present in the room. The couple will discuss a marriage contract and ask questions of importance to them regarding marriage. The best person to seek for a spouse is the pious.
Being
alone with a non-mahram
Hadith - Ahmad and Al-Tirmidhi 3118, Narrated
Umar ibn al-Khattab
,
Tirmidhi transmitted it.
The Prophet
said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil
makes a third."
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari, Book 25, Number 5403, Narrated Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Some persons from Banu Hisham entered the house of
Asma' daughter of Umays when AbuBakr also entered (and she was at that time his
wife). He (AbuBakr) saw it and disapproved of it and he made a mention of that
to Allah's Messenger
and said: I did not see but good only (in my wife).
Thereupon Allah's Messenger
said: Verily Allah has made her
immune from all this. Then Allah's Messenger
stood on the pulpit and said: After
this day no man should enter the house of another person in his absence, but
only when he is accompanied by one person or two persons.
Hadith - Sahih Bukhari Book 25, Number 5399, Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah
Allah's Messenger
said: Behold, no person should spend the night with a
married woman, but only in case he is married to her or he is her Mahram.
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi 3119,
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah
The Prophet
said, "Do not visit women whose husbands are away
from home, for the Devil circulates in you like your blood." He was
asked if this applied to him also and said, "To me
also, but Allah has helped me against him so that I may be safe." [Tirmidhi
transmitted it.]
Fatawa on Phone Usage
Question: What is the ruling concerning a young man who is not married speaking to a young lady who is also not married over the telephone?
Response: It is not allowed to speak with a non-related woman with any
speech that stirs desires, such as in a flirtatious, coquettish or soft manner.
This is not allowed whether it is over the telephone or otherwise. Allah has
said,
There is no harm in casual speech due to some need if it is free from any sort of evil. However, such speech must be restricted to only what is necessary.
Shaikh ibn Jibreen
Note: "what is necessary" does not include emotional
desires or 'needs'. This is referring to accomplishing things that are
necessary and cannot be avoided, i.e. there is no appropriate person available
to talk to in order to accomplish the needed goal or item. For instance,
speaking with a doctor or mechanic, store clerk to inquire as to a price, etc.,
is that which is necessary. Socializing is not considered that which is
necessary, even in the workplace.
Symptom: Feeling
weak?
Prescription: Lower gaze, Do your prayers
The Noble Qur'an 24:30
Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, Allah is All-Aware of what they do.
Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol. 9, Hadith
No. 409
Narrated Ibn Mas'uud r.a.: A man kissed a woman and then came to Allah's Messenger saaws and told him of that, so this Divine Inspiration was revealed to the Prophet saaws:- "And offer prayers perfectly at the two ends of the day, and in some hours of the night; [i.e. (five) compulsory prayers]. (Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (small sins). That is a reminder for the mindful." (Qur'an 11:114) The man said, "Is this instruction for me only?" The Prophet saaws said, "It is for all those of my followers who encounter a similar situation."
Remember... Allah, subhana watala, sees everything we do!
(for more info contact: loveislam@aol.com)